in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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