no, he came in my armpit
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
