im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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