I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
