I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
