I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
