i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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