remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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