his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
