Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
