I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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