Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I think your dad took our porno
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
