I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
