i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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