You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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