What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
