the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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