Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
