Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Come share oat with me in your robe
A bitchslap is in order.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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