Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
