so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
