I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
