so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
