Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
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