Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
