Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
