Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
