We're facebook friends in real life
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
