Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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