remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
