can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
