I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
