dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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