We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
