4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
