I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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