you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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