I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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