What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
