I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
