I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She bit a glass in half.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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