yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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