i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
