Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
