i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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