wrigley field is MILF paradise
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
