Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
