Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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