i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
