Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
