Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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